Am working on several other projects/still recovering/life is a mess so may have a break in writing longer essays while I submit things and work on bigger projects, but wanted to quickly round up some thoughts I have about things women need to do to support each other:
1) We have got to start talking to each other again. It’s been recently brought to my attention that a lot of people feel like they can’t talk to me because my life is difficult and they don’t want to “burden” me and I just want to clear this up. It’s never a burden to talk when it is an even exchange. I talk and you talk and this is healthy for society, don’t ever feel like you have to out-oppression Olympics me to tell me about your life, it makes me feel good to be included and involved and I want to vent too. Just make sure I get to vent too and it’s all good.
I think another reason is because of social media we all want to “look” good but we need to stop doing that. We need to focus on community again, which means that all of us need to start talking to each other. This means we also have to stop competing with each other. Cheer your sisters on. For this is the only way to achieve the coven’s goals… which are basically just to survive at this point. Calm down, damn.
2) I can’t emphasize this enough but we really need the men’s help with regulating on the men. Only men can regulate effectively on other men and what I’m hearing is this sense that the sexes are at war. This is silly of course because other women can be awful and some men are amazing so if you are going to go to war, join the war on assholes who hurt people. And let’s also start talking across gender lines again. The best way to deal with these issues is for the men to help us out. I’ve posted this before but for me, this is healthy masculinity and what men can do for us.
3) We have got to stop worrying about being a mess in front of each other, which means being vulnerable and allowing others to be vulnerable. Please stop telling your friends who are dealing with stuff that it makes you uncomfortable, just listen to your friend. If you are one of the few that has their life together, I ask that you still act like a good friend and are there for the rest of your friends without judgment. If you aren’t, then join the club, and I love you deeply and we would probably be less messed up if we were working together. Having a community needs to be added to the self-care discussion. Our collective mess is mine and yours.
4) Look out for my podcast which is launching Thursday. It’s going to be hopefully entertaining versions of my Civ curriculum distilled down to five minutes.