Many things have been said about me.

For example, my best friend in college once described me as, “nothing, if not efficient.”

Once in graduate school, I got in a fight with a male feminist who was angry that I was concerned about my male student’s performance.

He backed down because he’s a bitch.

My favorite grandmother once rode a motorcycle through Prague while the Iron Curtain was still down.

When she died, she decided I was the only one badass enough to wear her clothes.

My nephew is part Chocktaw, Mexican, Indonesian, Black and White and I guarantee he is more man than you.

Before I went to Stanford, they pretended there were no poor people. So I created the First Generation, Low Income Partnership which represented students across all races. Not a single protest was used, and my work is now being studied.

All of my students completed their final projects even though I was out for the last month of school due to an injury.

By December of that school year, I had already closed the gap between my poor students, and rich students and between my white and nonwhite students. It was my first year of independently teaching.

My bosses thought I was lying. So I brought them data and a bell curve.

They didn’t understand it.

They taught technology.

I was a history teacher.

My senior class tried to cheat on their first assignment, expecting an easier teacher from a previous year. They were surprised when I caught the forgery and even more surprised when I made them redo the assignment.

One time a boss found a potentially suicidal note from a student. From a picture of the handwriting alone I identified the student in 15 minutes.

Even after Donald Trump was elected, the left still saw me as a bigger threat because I kept reminding them what rich assholes they are. They keep blaming poor whites when it was their lyin’ asses who elected him.

In college, an antifa style leftist and social justice warrior came to a performance I gave of monologues written by poor students on campus and asked me if I was engaging in class warfare.

I didn’t know we had a truce.

I ended race riots at my high school as a freshman.

A leftist demanded a trigger warning from me once.

To which I responded, “no one gave me a trigger warning when they held a gun to my head.”

I am not a Communist, but I do feel like we’d have a better food distribution network if the tech people spent a little less time making apps to avoid talking to their maids and a little more time thinking about that issue.

Pol Pot was a murdering bitch because he didn’t listen to the people, like all Communists who don’t believe in free speech.


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